How long does it take to get my head around what my heart is longing for? Tonight's disaster came in the form of a HUGE amount of ice cream. My reason? I screwed up with my mobile plan coz my phone flicked from wifi to data. It's cost a small fortune (for us) which means another fortnight of not much cash. So, as per usual, I reach for the comfort of food.
But not only that, I also forgot to collect my son from kindy today. I don't know what's going on. I am forgetting the most basic things. Things I do every day. And I am starting to worry....
But the vicious cycle I am on means I turn to food. I really hate myself for it too. I know I am better than this and deserve more than the life I am giving myself. And yet I am failing every day.
In all this though, I KNOW that tomorrow is another day and each day will bring it's own trials. And I have the choice to do things differently. So my goal for tomorrow is small. All I am going to do is try. Coz that's all I have.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Here I go again!
So here I am, back at this point, AGAIN. I start really well, and a month down the track I fall off the wagon and then it takes 6 months to get back on again. In the meantime I put the weight on, become more disillusioned with myself, find more excuses to over eat. Obviously I have something really wrong with my thought patterns, but I can't seem to get off this roller coaster (incidentally, I hate roller coasters, but that's a whole other, embarrassing story).
Honestly, I am not really sure how to go about being healthy. My sister has this amazing ability to stick to plans, and I am quite envious of this. Must for me, I prefer a more simple, less strict, approach. I guess I am wanting to lose weight, while still enjoying my life. My problem is figuring out self control, portion control, etc. I have tried so many diets, and fail each time.
So here I am. It's the start of a new day, and I am sure I will figure it out one day. But how do I overcome the day to day battles of over eating, of depression, of low self esteem. I am aware a lot of the issues over lap and I just want to figure out the trigger so I can finally make some progress. But it's all so hard. But being fat is harder.
So this is it. This is me starting again. Again. But this time I am going to share why I want to loose weight, to help keep me focused..
1. I want to feel pretty again
2. I want my husband to be proud of me,
3. I want my kids to NEVER be ashamed of me.
4. I want to be healthy
5. I want to be fit.
So here is my new journey. This time?
Honestly, I am not really sure how to go about being healthy. My sister has this amazing ability to stick to plans, and I am quite envious of this. Must for me, I prefer a more simple, less strict, approach. I guess I am wanting to lose weight, while still enjoying my life. My problem is figuring out self control, portion control, etc. I have tried so many diets, and fail each time.
So here I am. It's the start of a new day, and I am sure I will figure it out one day. But how do I overcome the day to day battles of over eating, of depression, of low self esteem. I am aware a lot of the issues over lap and I just want to figure out the trigger so I can finally make some progress. But it's all so hard. But being fat is harder.
So this is it. This is me starting again. Again. But this time I am going to share why I want to loose weight, to help keep me focused..
1. I want to feel pretty again
2. I want my husband to be proud of me,
3. I want my kids to NEVER be ashamed of me.
4. I want to be healthy
5. I want to be fit.
So here is my new journey. This time?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)